First Blog! Is this the human experience?

Hey thanks for finding your way here- I hope not to bore you to absolute death.

My first ever blog post will reminisce on a brief history of my experiences in and out of college for the last five years and how a large dose of LSD may have influenced my current work.

I graduated high school in 2013 from a very small town in northern New Mexico. Naturally, I decided on an NM university because of the cheap tuition and most of my friends were headed that way as well. Needless to say, after about my first year in Las Cruces, I had convinced myself that I did not belong in this part of the state or even this part of the country. Not only was my soul rejecting the desert, it was rejecting any sort of educational direction. Childhood Ed? Business? Hotel/Restaurant Management? Artist? I was a mess but who really had it together at 18?

The following summer, a friend introduced me into the insanely wild, music/art scene that I now take pride in and boy did that fuel my wandering flame. Enough loud bass and half-naked people can change a person; I started sophomore year with purple hair, various nose rings, and the burning desire to get the f*** out of New Mexico. Sure enough, I dropped out after that year or more professionally (took a break) from college. I moved to Lake Tahoe with a boyfriend, froze my ass off for six months and took photos of snotty tourists on a ski mountain for minimum wage.

Deciding to embrace this need for experiences, I began pulling off these ridiculous road trips and even-more-ridiculous amounts of money for festivals/concerts. From Colorado, Nevada, California, Oregon, Michigan, Illinois and tons of party later- my life was much different then it had used to be. I had been submerged into this beautiful, psychedelic world that felt like a secret from those who hadn’t experienced it. I was surrounded by amazing artists of all sorts and it unveiled a whole new way of thinking and seeing the world.

In that time span, I also (accidentally) took a heroic dose of liquid LSD. - Which will probably need to be a blog post all on its own.- I don’t want to say that rolling around in a field outside of a brewery in Taos, while the roots of the earth sucked my confused, spun-out body into the dirt completely changed my life or anything, but it did have some major influence on my way of thinking. I might add that it was also the last time I was comfortable letting Lucy touch me.

I began my junior year in fall 2016 with the certainty that I did, in fact, want to be an artist. My work started exploring these ideas of using hallucinogens and attempting to convey what one might see if under the influence. I painted myself with a third eyeball coming out of my forehead and glowing, rainbow elk in the background-just for a mental picture. That work was just not really doing it for me, as many (better) artists have already conveyed the trip perfectly.

Attempting to keep this short, I will go further into specific work on my next post.

Here I am now, graduating in less than a month with my Bachelor in Fine Arts from NMSU- after another failed attempt in making the Pacific Northwest my home. My current body of work, which will be on display at the BFA show November 30th, (click for event) is no longer about the immediate affects of way too much LSD or about running the sand dunes with a psilocybin-induced stomachache. It’s now about an inward reflection, examining the existential feelings I have as a human and the vicious cycle of being shoved around by that very existence -is this the human experience? I do thank the world of psychedelics for opening up my mind to things not once seen (sorry mom). But I also believe it takes a lot of sober, mental practice to really analyze those questions of your own growth.

Dissecting the actions and consequences of ones life as a cycle is a damn mental battle - and I still don’t have my sh*t together.

love, autumn

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